bad night

My grandmother had a heart attack about a week ago. She was scheduled for surgery this morning. The surgery didn't happen. Im not completely sure why. I have been getting my information from people who aren't totally clear on what's happening. I basically got that they don't have a stint that will fit her heart. I was also told they don't know where to go from here. Me and my grandmother are very close. I have more memories of her then my own parents. Needless to say Im beside myself. I have really been trying to be strong and work through bad feelings the last couple months. For the most part I have. Tonight i just broke down a little. I got in to this ridiculous fight with Garth over boundaries. He posted something on his blog that well, hurt my feelings...We have these epic battles. I had time to think about it after the dust settled. I'm just sensitive right now. Im also sick with a cold. Getting in to a fight over blogging was a bit disturbing to me. The online diaries are bizarre. You censor your self or not but you are always aware people read what you have written. There have been so many posts I have deleted after writing. What is the point in letting some god awful detail about your life known? I guess I have a couple reasons. It's cathartic. You write in to a void instead of it balled up under your bed. Sometimes you just want someone to know...its a way to feel connected with out really having to.
Its one in the morning and im talking to my computer about my shitty night. Good night computer. See you tomorrow.